You need the following:

2 different days in 1 week to do the same exercise (I recommend a Tuesday or Wednesday and then Saturday)

a notebook, preferably one you like. I use this exercise as an excuse to give my students a special notebook, but you can go to any store at all and find a nice one

a pen that you like, one that feels nice to hold, and has a colour of ink that makes you happy

about 15-30 minutes where you can be alone, undisturbed

something nice to eat and drink (a nice cup of coffee or tea, maybe? a delicious cookie, or a yummy toast with Nutella, whatever you like)

You're going to:

Take your tools including your food and drink to a quiet space. Pets are ok, but other people aren't. You need some time to be yourself, with yourself, and that can be raw. Quiet space allows you to cry if you need to, or stab the paper, or whatever, without alarming your family/roommates.

Get comfortable with the pen and notebook in your lap, and the food and drink to the side. Look at the pen and paper, noting that they are new, and ready for you. Use a few minutes to look at your hands on the pen and paper, think of it as a "walking meditation" in that you are Here right Now, and you see your fingernails, painted or not, your fingers, be-ringed or not. Your wrists laying limply but comfortable. Just hanging out looking at your hands and the paper, crisp and pretty, with your pen, inked up and ready to go!

Close your eyes, and begin your breathing and relaxation exercises-- whatever works for you to meditate. Here is where it gets hard, so, How Brave Are You?

Focus on you. Yourself, your mind and body and heart. Imagine you are your best friend. Inhabit that space of being separate from you-- of looking at you with the love and compassion you look at your friends. Imagine you are introducing you to someone you love-- how would you do that? "I want you to meet them, they are----!"

Take a few minutes, keep it short the first time, but the second, be ready for 10 minutes of meditation.

Now, slowly open your eyes, and take up your pen. Take a deep, clarifying breath.

Write down a list of 10 things you love about yourself. Are you compassionate? Do you make the best quiche? Can you change a car tire in 5 minutes? What are the beautiful, amazing, wonderful, loving things about you, that you take for granted or ignore in yourself, that you celebrate in the people you love? Those are the 10 things. Write them down.

When you do this the second time, just turn the page, and use a new one. Try to focus on new things that are awesome about you, new things to love.

These things, the parts of us we adore in others and ignore in ourselves, they are things you can (and should) love about yourself.

After you do this exercise, close the book. Enjoy your drink and food. Be there, in that moment. If you cried, it's ok. If you laughed, that's ok too. If you froze up, that's ok. This is a hard exercise. It's hard to admit we have loveable things about ourselves-- society, many religions all around us, being socialized as a woman, being gay, or trans, being different in any way, all of these things make it hard to love ourselves.

Witchcraft is about reclaiming that love.

After the second exercise, close the book, enjoy your snack, and then on the next day or a couple days later, open the notebook and compare. There will be overlap. That's ok. Those are the things you probably dig about yourself already. Or that you like sometimes, mostly, sorta... right?

The things that aren't duplicated, those are the things you need to focus on. Right now, just read them over once a week or so, remind yourself that these are fantastic things, and that you love them in others, so you (logically) should love them in yourself. Then, look at your reflection in the mirror, and say, "I love you". It'll make you cry every single damned time, but it feels so good.*

Witchcraft is about reclaiming self-love, and don't you forget it!

Keep those lists in your BoS if you have one, or a separate notebook for "Stuff". We will return to it

*Yes, your HeadWitch still tears up when she does this exercise. I probably always will. But being loved is such a beautiful feeling that I believe I deserve to feel it toward myself. You do, too!